I'm trying to avoid a diatribe against BT broadband, my service provider, but it's hard going.
Moving less than a mile down the road clearly has them foxed. The truly frustrating thing is they keep promising the service will be there, then not delivering the goods.
So the first snail mail post that arrived in my new home was a shiny little brochure from them telling me how to plug in to the service from my new place, with an upgraded service promised.
Two weeks later, I'm still not connected, and the guy from the call centre in Bangalore tells me he's going to be able to look into it, but not till Monday. Because their service department doesn't work Saturdays and Sundays.
Along the way, I've had endless experiences of those wonderful long-wait interludes on hold listening to Eine Kleine Nachtmusik till click! I'm disconnected. And a few experiences of people from the Bangalore call centre calling me with various stories of the type of:
i. I'm a new customer, so they can't put me online till I've been processed. Er, actually I've been their customer since before the service officially started...
ii. There's a fault on the line, and they're working on it. This sounds promising till I get a follow up call telling me there's no fault on the line and either story (i) or I'll have to wait till August 11th because they need twelve working days to sort things.
iii. They'll call me back. Which they do. To tell me they can't tell me any more, and they'll call me back.
That's the story. So I'm sitting in an internet cafe 300 yards from where I live, with a nice new wireless hub all connected and waiting to go, but no connection for it to broadcast from.
I thought I had the solution. I buy a wireless laptop and go into the beautiful bookstore a mile down the road where the wireless hub and Starbucks service is so good, droves of people have given up working in their offices and hang out there every day. I sussed that out because BT broadband offers me free wireless as a sideline on the (currently non-provided) home broadband service.
Oh, yes, you can certainly do that, trills one of the very nicest BT internet minions from what sounds like a call centre in Scotland. Once you're connected at your home...
I patiently explain that actually the reason I'm so eager to pursue the wireless option is because I can't access the expensive service I've been paying for at home. It's outside her call centre script repertoire, and she tells me that once I'm connected at home, she'll be happy to arrange it.
OK, final indignity.
I'm now finding that I can't access my adloyada direct email. The BT internet site won't let me.
So far, I haven't been able to face making another round of these calls to deal with that one. No doubt it's something to do with the process of not being connected.
The upside is, I really cracked the dilemma of how to avoid becoming an unperson when I changed my address.
Maybe I'll find time for that one if I get time for another round at the local internet cafe.